Dating within the military

You’ve read my posts about for an army girlfriend, navy girlfriend, or military girlfriend.

Perhaps you are already dating someone in the military but want to know more before making a serious commitment.

This is based solely on the experiences of my veteran friends, as well as my own with a past paramour. The military teaches service members to trust their unit, and few others. If he comes to you with a problem, chances are he’ll talk about it until he no longer wants to and then go into lockdown. That is not a good thing or a bad thing, that is just a matter of fact and something you need to understand. Military men are used to their band of brothers, and are bred to be loyal and protective. Some branches of the military (I’m looking at you, Marines) have a feeling of superiority over others.

This list is not simply a composition of pros or cons, but rather an overview of what dating a service member active duty or veteran — is like. They are meant to be extremely close with this group of people and everyone else is simply on a need-to-know basis. It is not a competition between his military friends and you; they are people who shared a very intimate part of his life, and you should want to be close with them, too. He will love you fiercely and be the most faithful companion, if you can promise the same. Granted, that is earned due to the nature of their work and how much they put on the line.

When this occurs between officers and enlisted service members or between some other hierarchical pairing, as between a commander and an officer or enlisted soldier in her command, it can potentially undermine the chain of command, order, and discipline.

Not all contact between enlisted persons and officers or subordinates and superiors is prohibited, just contact that would compromise (or have the appearance of compromising) order, discipline, and the chain of command.

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